Cinema Siren-The Age of Adaline review:  the counter programming to Avengers: The Age of Ultron. So much pretty and so little real substance. Thank goddess for the older actors. And who greenlit that narration? Watch it now! [cinemasiren]

Want to see just how pretty they are?  Here’s the trailer…

For those who want to read my review, here is the transcript:

With Spring pushing up flowers and nature busy birthing cute little creatures, some movie lovers will be in the mood for a flick with a little romance and renewal.  Cue the non-Avengers counter programmed new release that also has the word “AGE” in it,  The Age of Adeline, coming complete with gorgeous model-like stars Blake Lively of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Michiel Huisman of Game of Thrones, and big name co-stars Ellen Burstyn, Harrison Ford, and Kathy Baker.

Adeline Bowman is 29.  She has been 29 for over 80 years.  A freak occurrence made her that way, and she’s been running ever since.  A chance encounter with charming, quirky philanthropist Ellis Jones (Huisman) makes her want to slow down and smell the roses, (and the testosterone).   Her daughter Flemming (Burstyn) looks more like her grandmother, and people she once knew have the wrinkles she wishes were on her own face.  One of them is William Jones (Harrison Ford), who is coincidentally the father of her new paramour.  What’s an ageless beauty do?  Run again? OR Will she stop running and allow herself to fall in love?

The audience is certainly offered plenty of beautiful bone structure featured in languid close-ups of the two leads, along with jewel-like, memorable moments of acting prowess from the older actors.  Harrison Ford shows an aching vulnerability in the confused William Jones, and lends weight to scenes that rise the stock of the film as a whole.  In flashbacks, we are treated to delightful Canadian actor Anthony Ingruber who captures Ford’s infamous one-sided grin, as well as several other of his physical quirks.   As his wife Kathy Jones, Kathy Baker isn’t seen much but her natural style makes her instantly likable AND believable.  Perennially under-appreciated actress Ellen Burstyn as Adaline’s daughter lights up each scene she is in, making the audience can believe they do have the deep level of intimacy a mother and daughter share.  Lively and Huisman are both poised to break out as A-list leading actors, and they don’t misstep here, but unnecessary scenes as well as those missing that could have been used to connect us more to the couple and their yearning for each other are a problem they can’t overcome.  Pretty people together will only go so far, and better dialogue between them would have added a much stronger romantic attachment for the audience. The fault making the film less than the sort that makes long term fans and cult followers, as time-bending films often do, is the script.

It faces us with such ridiculous implausibility, there are several times it unwittingly enters into spoof territory, notably in the explanation for her frozen age.  The narration, which is meant to be straightforward, immediately brings to memory not only Rod Serling, but every spoof narration in recent film history.  It literally stops the movie in its tracks, which is unfortunate given the charm and sparkle one might get from the rest of the romance therein.

Overlook that and audiences might have a nice time in the dark.  But girls….and let’s be honest, it’s gals who are dragging their romantic interests to this with the tease that they’ll see a gorgeous blonde, a Game of Thrones alum, and Indiana Jones—be prepared for such a preposterous explanation for the root of the story, it may ruin the rest of what is a reasonably good film.  Perhaps a night at home watching Casablanca or another more successful time travel romance, like Midnight in Paris, or Kate & Leopold (starring none other than Wolverine himself Hugh Jackman) might be time better spent with your film-loving loved one.

3 out of 5 stars.